If you get a puppy at the standard time, around 9 or 10 weeks, it is YOUR responsibility to teach them this. As you are playing, anytime they bite even a little too hard, make a sharp noise like a yelp or a hissing intake of breath or even just “hey!” not angry, more like in pain, and immediately stop playing. If they try to continue to play turn your shoulder or back to them, ignore them until they stop and let you recover. Then you can go back to playing with them. You are showing them what it looks like when they bite too hard, and what is expected of them in that situation, which is to wait to be invited to play before reengaging. Not only does this train them to not bite too hard, it lets them calibrate to each person, dog, and situation.
Maybe one of your hands is hurt – having grown up learning bite inhibition this way, your dog will pick up that you are wincing or stopping to inspect your hand or making a noise and will adjust their bite force/play style. This is a key aspect of socialization, and will let your dog play well with other dogs, children, etc.
People don’t really talk about this much but you should also be trying to teach this to cats (for biting and clawing too hard).
sometimes you need to give up committing to the bit when someone genuinely can’t tell if it’s a bit or not and is getting distressed about it :/ sorry
sometimes all u need to do is take one second to say “(yeah this is a bit)” if someone is genuinely asking because they genuinely can’t tell, and then you can continue with the bit. i just feel like refusing to acknowledge someone saying “i cant tell if youre joking or not” and you just continue, or even say, “im not joking” then you’re not being very funny, you’re just being kind of mean, i think.
obviously there is nuance to this and if you know someone really well sometimes going in harder on the bit will make them get that it’s a bit and that’s fine if you know them. but just be mindful, yknow? not everyone can pick up on stuff like that, and pushing harder on a bit by saying “im serious” when someone asks if you’re joking or not can be harmful in some situations.
The US is deeply segregated not only along racial lines, but along class lines as well: from housing to schools to healthcare, many of our major institutions are designed to allow rich people to keep poor people as far away from them as possible.
Where do rich and poor people interact with one another? If I’m reading this study right, it’s restaurants. Which restaurants? They find that some of the most cross-class locations in the country are cheap full-service restaurants: “Olive Garden, Applebee’s, Chili’s and IHOP.”
The more I think about this finding the more it makes sense. Places like Olive Garden are some of the only locations in US society which are simultaneously “nice” enough to draw in high-income diners and cheap enough to attract low-income diners. Rich people go to, say, Outback Steakhouse because they see it as a cheap and easy meal that’s better than fast food, poor people go because it’s one of the closest things to a nice steakhouse you can eat at without dropping $100+ per person.
Other cross-class locations: churches, libraries, credit unions, alcohol stores, the DMV. Locations which worsen class segregation: golf courses and country clubs, bars, museums.
This reminds me of the most fantastic book liveblogs I’ve ever read (by ozy thingofthings). It’s Times Square Red Times Square Blue by Afrofuturist scifi author Samuel Delany.
(full but paywalled review by that liveblogger here, although the visible portion of the text should give you an idea of what a weird and fantastic book this is)
A lot of it is about The Venus Theater, which showed adult films until a push to close all the porn theaters also shut it down in 1970. It was pretty normal to jerk off in the theater and cruise for (mostly m/m?) sex – both of the sex worker and non sex worker variety (although the line was very blurry). It was normal to e.g. jerk off your neighbor.
Delany was a college professor at Amherst the time he was a Venus regular. He had social and sexual relationships with a large number of people he met at the Venus Theater, including homeless people – he kept up correspondence with many of them, including at least one who went to prison. When establishments like the Venus shut down, one reason he didn’t like this was that he thought it was unhealthy for society to get rid of spaces with high levels of inter-class contact.
Delany draws a distinction contact and networking. The Venus was contact, and more formal “people of various backgrounds who are interested in X, come mingle” events are networking. And if you get rid of interclass contact spaces, interclass networking spaces have to ‘take up the slack’ of facilitating connections, and they… can’t do it. Example about parenting from the linked blog post:
In a city, contact requires certain specific characteristics to thrive. You need socioeconomically diverse spaces with mixed commercial and residential uses, and which provide basic services like restaurants, public bathrooms, and small shops. Without that setup, you don’t get contact. (…) [If you’re at a park close to your house and] there aren’t any public bathrooms, it’s a jerk move to not let a mom at the park your kids are playing at use the bathroom in your house, but you don’t want to just let any rando into your house. So you’re reluctant to talk to moms you don’t know. (Real thing!)
And here’s Delany on the value of public spaces that facilitate sexual contact:
Similarly, if every sexual encounter involves bringing someone back to your house, the general sexual activity in a city becomes anxiety-filled, class-bound, and choosy. This is precisely why public rest rooms, peep shows, sex movies, bars with grope rooms, and parks with enough greenery are necessary for a relaxed and friendly sexual atmosphere in a democratic metropolis
After reading the above Delany quote I sat back in my chair, grinning wildly at the ceiling. You may not like it but this is what the optimal take looks like
Probably the first time in over a year I have seen a legitimately new take, game recognize game.
My FAVORITE THING is researchers who wholeheartedly embrace the Ms. Frizzle aesthetic and wear their field of study on their literal sleeve. Everyone in the invasive crayfish consortium has tiny lobster-print shorts or socks. All the middle-aged dad scientists here at the lab have shirts with fish and/or fishing tackle patterns on them. My moss specimen and ammonite earrings keep getting noticed by women who are wearing silver fishbone-shaped or native plant-themed earrings themselves. Every single person on the outreach team has at least one shirt with an anchor pattern on it from Old Navy, and almost all the younger researchers have tattoos featuring their research interests – one fisheries biologist has a half-sleeve of native species she literally uses as an outreach tool. We are self-aware and having a blast with it, honestly.
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If you get a puppy at the standard time, around 9 or 10 weeks, it is YOUR responsibility to teach them this. As you are playing, anytime they bite even a little...](https://64.media.tumblr.com/78814da4796340ee5a864d629336fe09/tumblr_p13cgrePvT1rhavdko1_500.png)
